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Gail Forrest

Gail Forrest
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http://www.gailforrest.com
Gail Forrest recently started doing standup which she finds is a complete blast. Gonepausal is her blog and she has a book on Amazon by the same name filled with stories of her skewed, funny view on midlife and all its attendant surprises. Humor is the only way forward at this point.

Covid HYPERchondria

My brain is spinning into butter from fear of everything: kitchen counters, gas pumps, door knobs, elevators, other humans and, the deadliest of all, my own hands. Did I wash them? If I can’t remember, I immediately wash them again. I am certain I no longer have fingerprints. I...

Chicago Mountaineering

I just moved to a new apartment and now surprisingly find myself in training for a whole new career – Sherpa. I couldn’t resist the vintage charm, large rooms, and perfect location of this place – a block away from Whole Foods to the West and Lake Michigan to...

Requiem for My Sweat Pants

I am not a fashionista by anyone’s definition, especially my mother’s. She could take a deep breath and dive into a bin of clothes on sale at Neiman’s and triumphantly come up with an Armani sweater half off. She had monster lung capacity. I look at a bin of...

The Gravity of Dating

I was certain I had tried every conceivable method to find a date. Everything, I say! I have been on multiple dating sites, multiple times. I felt like a lifer with no possibility of parole. Let me out already; I’ve paid my dues over and over. I wrote profiles...

Come Fly With Me (or Maybe Date Me)

I thought going on a date was the most stressful activity I could engage in during Covid time. I was wrong. I found something equally anxiety ridden, stressful and scary. I decided to get on an airplane! Remember flying after 911 and how nerve wracking it felt with shoe...

Date Two in Covid Time: To Go or Not to Go?

Being asked on a second date during Covid time was simultaneously a dream come true and a nightmare. For years I have proclaimed myself “The Queen of One Date” because I never got asked on a second. There was no crown included with my title or polite bowing, but...

On The Verge of A Zoom Breakdown

I admit I’m a techno dinosaur and have always lagged way behind on the technology curve. Mostly because I was really happy living in the time of a Filofax and self-correcting typewriter. Those were the good old days. When forced to step up and buy a computer and PalmPilot,...

My First Date in the Time of Corona

I am single and had been “home alone” long enough. I had hit the wall. Four months of quarantine in my condo with no company was my limit. I needed out. I finally had to admit I was not going to learn Italian, play the piano or bake bread....

Almost Immortal: Losing My Mother

I was convinced my mother was immortal. Mortality just wasn’t in her vocabulary and, at 102, I thought she was correct in that thinking. I began to wonder if she wasn’t a new kind of Marvel action figure. Step aside, Spider-Man, Iron Man, Hulk, Wolverine, Black Panther, and all...

Why I Scare Myself to Death Every Week Doing Stand-Up While Learning to Make Brisket

Ironically, the place I feel the most comfortable these days is on a stage doing stand-up.  This is a huge transition from 23 years as a private art advisor, and now instead of selling a Warhol I am selling myself.  Microphone as Security Blanket I am suspended in a state of...
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