What do men and women really know about each other? If we could be inside each other’s head would the shock factor turn us to stone? Are there questions too difficult to ask or answers which we would rather not hear? This haunts me, after all, none of us are mind readers although we somehow believe the opposite sex can read our every thought and know exactly what we want to hear or how we’re feeling at any given moment. This is dangerous relationship territory and not much good comes of it. Two husbands later I’m still looking for that elusive mind reader.
I decided to canvas men and women to find out what we really know or think about each other decades into our lives. I was curious to find out what’s going on in more brains than mine. Here was my question: What do you really want to know about men/women? What confuses you? What have you always been afraid to ask? Or what is so odd about them?
“What happened to warm, soft and feminine? Seems like harder edgier, masculine. How do I tell if someone is still interested in the physical?
“I would say if you are over sixty and married, divorced, single, widowed or in a relationship and haven’t trusted enough to ask an honest, awkward, or uncomfortable question there is a bigger problem in your life.”
“I’m married and am no longer confused or afraid to ask any questions.”
“Women seem to be more unpredictable than most men. Broader biological and intellectual range than me. Conceal their emotions without trying and it makes it a challenge to read where she is at any given moment. That makes new relationships a challenge but time can ease that.”
“Women’s brains hover between slightly disoriented and certifiable therefore there is nothing they could say that would interest me, other than as a therapist, which most need.”
“Why is it that men must continually prove their love, whereas women need prove nothing? Why is sexuality largely the responsibility of the man, who with no guidance from the woman, gambles on rejection each time? Why is no gift every good enough for a woman?
“Mostly their inability to find something that is right in front of their face. Leave one sip or bite in a cup or container and put it back in the refrigerator. Will not take directions driving and cannot find their way out of a paper bag.”
“Would like to know the depth of their integrity but don’t really care enough to wonder. How self-centered they are and clueless about basic things. They act before they think. So needy especially as they age.”
“Men place so much importance on women’s looks – 100%. What other traits do they value?”
“Especially love gay men. Make such great friends and don’t even mind if we complain. I feel sorry for the nice guys.”
“They can sit and watch a game for hours on end. The world could blow up and nothing move them. Can wallow in dirt and don’t notice a piece of paper on the floor to pick it up and throw it away or put a dirty cup in the sink. Always have to help with their laundry….always.”
I think I can do a little matchmaking here.
I see hope! And I think I can do a little matchmaking here. Some of these complaints align perfectly. It makes me believe in love and magic like a Disney movie! For some of these complainers, there is a new mate. This leads me to conclude somewhere in your circle of friends there is someone who provides the solution to your complaints.
Let’s take an example from my small sampling – Mr.Cynical who thinks women’s brains are “certifiable” would be a good match for Ms. ”Would like to know the depth of their integrity but don’t really care enough to wonder.” Perfect cynical symmetry. As for Ms. “Men place so much importance on looks, what other traits do they value?“ and Mr. “What happened to warm, soft and feminine?” are a match made right here! She wonders, he answers! Kismet.
Mr. “No gift is ever good enough for a woman” hasn’t given one to me. Although truthfully in this regard a high bar has been set, as I have gotten some freaking great gifts, but If he could come up with one of those I’m all in with undying gratitude.
As for Mr. “puts a drink away in the refrigerator with one sip left ”…..I will never do that again!
I think the closest we got to being like each other was in the late sixties and seventies when we all had the same length hair and wore bell bottoms. It was really difficult to tell what gender anyone was from behind. Yes, back when men had those cute butts that wiggled just enough to be sexy. Times changed and butts!
I however, remain on my search for a mind reader with a sexy butt.